brick squaaaaaaaaaad #wockaflockaflame #flosstradamus #dallas #dfw #MDBP2014 #zouk #LaborDayWeekend (Zouk Dallas)
got here a little late, but decent spots under shade AND decent phone signal??? already better than last year #skrillex #diplo #jacku #majorlazer #walshyfire #jillionaire #zouk #dallas #dfw #LaborDayWeekend #MDBP2014 @nike9012 @chopped_n_drewwed @dap_chap_dave @boringasiangirl (Zouk Dallas)
I am so ready for this weekend. Can I be in Dallas already?
There always seems to be some bulllshit that happens before I plan to be out of town for a whole weekend and when I come back it’s like we all forgot about it. I really am tired of all this. I want to be on my own and not worry about my parents dragging me down to a point I can’t help them financially when I can barely do it on my own living nearly rent-free in this house I’ve been living in for way too long.
And apparently there’s a Parent Plus loan that I owe on that completely forgot about… fucking great. But there’s much more to it. I’ve already said a lot already.
How else can I get it through to my parents and family that this isn’t the way they should be handling themselves? I feel my parents are living in some sort of pipe dream because their lifestyle and their spending habits have hardly changed when they need to prepare for retirement. My dad is planning to retire in 10 years, but with how irresponsible he seems to be handling his health, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has to do so sooner. All my mom knows is teaching aerobics - what else can she do? It’s bad enough I make more than her, but what is she gonna do when he retires? there’s no way they can fiscally survive on their own by the time my dad has to retire.
I want to help them, but I always seem to get shut down because they are the parents and everything they say is right, but they’re not… well, not always, at least. I’m not proud that I get easily agitated over their ignorance, but I don’t know how else to handle it. Even if I were to move out, it’s not gonna change how they live the rest of their lives. They’re still gonna do whatever the hell they want, even if their children don’t approve of what they’re doing to sabotage themselves out of a stress-free retirement, or a retirement -PERIOD-, that they should get and deserve. My sister doesn’t care - she’s got two daughters to take care of. My stepbrother is on the other side of the world with his Japanese bae, living a life I envy right now.
And here are my brother and I, still living at home, with bachelor’s degrees that still haven’t been utilized to their potential nearly two years after graduation, in our mid-20s but feeling like children here. Okay, I don’t do my chores on time, but besides that, it’s like we don’t have a say in anything we do as a family or that affects us all. I don’t know how to stand up for myself because I always get put in my place; all I can do is sit down and shut the fuck up.
One more year to deal with all of this shit here at home, I keep telling myself. And if at least JET doesn’t pull through, there’s always Interac, or the job search program thru my ESL certificate provider. Either way, I can’t imagine being here any longer than I am already. Everyone around me is going places, getting jobs fresh out of college, taking risks, working hard, etc. There’s nothing left this city can provide for me - it’s too safe. I need to get out of this comfort zone, fast, and become someone I can make not only myself proud of, but my parents.
the view of #UT and #downtown #Austin from my friend’s new apartment at #21rio - this city never fails to impress me. (21 Rio - Austin, Tx)